Rant.
Day 14:
It’s been 2 weeks since my operation, I’m still in pain and still in bed. It’s been a while since I’ve been out, except to go back to hospital for tests. Emotionally and physically, it’s been extremely draining. But here I am, lying in bed not doing much and I have had way too much on my mind. So much that I’ve decided to sit here and listen to Taylor Swift and rant on about things.
Why? Because I can.
So the first thing that’s been getting to me is… to what point do you start and stop calling someone a friend? It’s been a little while since I’ve seen those who I once called close or considered me close. So it had me thinking for a while (seeing as i havn’t had much else to do), after everything you’ve gone through would you still consider someone a ‘friend’ after not hearing from them and being ignored. It makes it hard doesn’t it? Makes you feel like no one cares and let me tell you, if it wasn’t for my girlfriend I would be ready to jump off a cliff due to loneliness.
I have this one friend who I’ve known for an incredibly long time. Tried to be the good friend and help her and be there for her as a friend should do. Anyway… so i havn’t heard from her, let alone hear from her much; you know, the occasional text asking how I am or if I want to hang out, nope! Never seen one of them. She dating someone who lives literally 2 minutes from me. I have never seen her randomly text to say, ‘Hey! Im in your hood, you home to hang for abit?’ Never. Or even to randomly come round to see me. It kills me that someone I used to be with 2-3 times a week, I now see maybe once a month. I’ve been home for 2 weeks pretty much and I havn’t seen any of my ‘friends’. It’s quite frustrating. I didnt think it was that hard to pick up the phone in your pocket and make a little effort for someone you’ve known for so long.
Also, friends who say they’ll come round and see you and dont. Dont bother with saying things and not sticking to it.
It just makes you think, times like this and your friends cant be there for you. When you need them to be round most to make you feel better. Just makes you wonder where you stand with them. Or if you even have a place in there with them.
Just so over putting in effort and not getting it in return.
Right so thats my rant. Stay tuned for my next ‘Im using the fact that im sick as an excuse to be a bitch’ episode.
Ciao.
